Discontented
or Thankful?
by Bob and Yvonne Turnbull
We've found that a thankful heart has a positive
impact on our marriage and family. However, the opposite is
true. When someone is discontented that can also have an impact
on a marriage, but in a negative and oftentimes hurtful manner.
As you well know this is the month we celebrate
the holiday known as Thanksgiving. This annual observation is a
good opportunity for us to focus on our thankfulness for all that God
has done for us.
We saw this many years ago with Yvonne. It
seemed to happen frequently when she went shopping. She would
often find herself feeling discontented with the way our home was
decorated whenever she would walk into the home decorating section of a
department store. She would find herself starting to complain to
herself about all the things she didn't have. By the time she got
home she would feel kinda down, then look around with a critical eye
and then state with a critical mouth everything that was wrong with the
house. But it didn't stop with just the house. Soon she
would turn her critical eye towards Bob and it would seem he couldn't
do anything right.
This would last for about a week and then calm
down until she went shopping again. We freely talked about this
pattern and Yvonne confessed as to the road she was headed down.
She saw it had a dead end. Further free-flowing talks, which
included praying together, revealed that the focus she had was really
on what she didn't have. She was losing sight of all that God had
blessed her with. Do you do that?
We decided to work on this together, since we're
TeamMates. We developed a "Thanksgiving" list. We agreed to
write down the myriad of ways God has blessed us. One of the
first items on our list was the furnishings in our home. We found
that nearly every piece of furniture had a story behind it as to how
God provided us with it. Most of it was provided when, at that
particular time, we had so little money, but God faithfully provided
and provided abundantly. We would frequently read over the list
and thank God for each item we had written down.
It's amazing how God used that list to help
us develop an attitude of gratitude. And we found, as we got
refocused on our blessings, we were freed up from the "I Want More
Monster" and that brought such contentment into our lives.
When we started our Thanksgiving list it was started
with the purpose of looking at the different "things" God has provided
for us. But we realized it was also helpful to help change our
attitude about people we were in a relationship with, especially the
difficult relationships.
In difficult relationships, which could even be with
our mate and children, we can tend to focus on all the things we
believe are wrong in their lives or all the things they aren't doing
that they should be doing, and then we get discouraged. Then
after a while our focus is on the negatives and we end up with a
critical spirit.
If you find yourself in this trap, we suggest doing
this: Pray and ask God to open your eyes to see what is right in the
life of your loved ones. Write it on a Thanksgiving List.
Pray on it each day and add to the list as God makes you aware of
things to be thankful for. At times it can be something
small. For example - your mate may be slow in making a
decision. Maybe that drives you bonkers, but maybe their slower
pace balances you from making a too hasty decision. Write down on
your Thanksgiving List your thankfulness for the balance.
It's amazing how God uses thankfulness to change you
and the way you view the person you're struggling with. This is
what the verse found in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 is all about - "Give
thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ
Jesus."
Some verses are easy to memorize but hard to
practice especially when you feel hurt or don't feel like giving thanks
in all circumstances. This verse is important because when we
take on a thankful attitude it brings contentment into our lives.
How's that work? When we are thankful we are giving thanks that
in all our circumstances God loves us and is in control of all the
details of our life. When we know that He cares that much about
our details we became more submissive to His Will. His Will in
our lives is what brings about contentment.
Secondly, giving thanks in all circumstances also enables
us to look for God's purpose in the midst of those circumstances.
That gives us strength to keep on keepin' on.
This Thanksgiving may we encourage you to launch
your own Thanksgiving List? One way to start it is to have each
person eating at your Thanksgiving table pick one person at the table
and write down what quality they are thankful for concerning that
person. Then go around the table and each person reads what they
have written. That can be a powerful time together. Then
introduce the idea of making a Thanksgiving list.
Let God guide you in the many areas of your life that
you're thankful for. Write them down and then consistently focus on
them. God will bless you mightily.
TURNBULL MINISTRIES
E-Mail: btmin@aol.com
http://www.turnbullministries.org
