Across Pacific & Asia

Blonde, Coffee and Rednecks

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains and tells the salesman,
"I would like to buy a pink curtain the size of my computer screen."

The surprised salesman replies, "But madam, computers don't need

To which the blonde replies: "Helloooooo... I've got Windows!


Who brews the coffee?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ............. Scroll down...

dance Racoon



Redneck one-liners

-How do you know when your staying in a redneck hotel?
-When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the
person at the front desk says, "go ahead."

-Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age certain states
to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

-What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw?"
A documentary.

-How many rednecks does it take to eat a deer?
Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic.

-Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.

-A cop pulled over a pickup truck. He asked the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says "Bout what?"

-Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Oklahoma Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

-Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Nearly everyone has the same DNA.

-Did you hear that the Governor's mansion burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

-What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Oklahoma and a
flood in Mississippi have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

-A redneck came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here! My house is on fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you still have them big red trucks?"

-Why do rednecks go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
Cuz 17 and under ain't admitted.

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