Bill Eaton sends...

Wisdom from Grandpa

Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders. [...uh, Bill, you're retired military, right? ;-) ]

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

When you're dissatisfied and want to be young again, remember algebra.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.