Bill Eaton sends...
Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make
beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.
[...uh, Bill, you're retired military, right? ;-) ]
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on
the kind of chick he marries.
When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin',
ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to
know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald,
they don't recognize you.
When you're dissatisfied and want to be young again, remember algebra.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.