Signs You've Got a Bad HMO

*  Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park."

*  Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles.

*  Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

*  Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day."

*  Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

*  Patient responsible for "200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

*  The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

*  With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m"s on them.


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