Thanks so much for all the
Chain Letters

To all my dear friends, thank you SO much for all the chain letters you sent me.... If it weren't for you I might be dead .. or worse! Here are just a few of the ways my life has changed because of those wonderful & informative chain letters:


* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk
about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

*I stopped buying gas at EXXON-MOBIL.

* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the chemicals they contain may turn me gay.

* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

* I don't look at any stranger, no matter how hot he or she is, for fear that they will put something in my drink, rape me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice somewhere in Mexico.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail programs.

* My Ericsson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland. But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you today at 7pm and the price of gas will go to $5.00 a gallon, but only at the stations where you buy gas.

Hey, Delbert!  You forgot the one about Madelyn Murray O'Hair getting the FCC to remove Touched By An Angel from TV!