so much for all the
To all my dear friends, thank you SO much for all the chain
letters you sent me.... If it weren't for you I might be dead .. or
worse! Here are just a few of the ways my life has changed because of
those wonderful & informative chain letters:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for
removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle
infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and
sometimes I even have to walk
about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample
and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial
a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
*I stopped buying gas at EXXON-MOBIL.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the chemicals they
contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing
other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are
bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will
get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I don't look at any stranger, no matter how hot he or she is, for
fear that they will put something in my drink, rape me, then take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice somewhere in
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl
that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that
girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000
that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in
their special e-mail programs.
* My Ericsson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid
vacation to Disneyland. But I am positive that all this is the cause of
a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people
in the next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you today at 7pm and the
price of gas will go to $5.00 a gallon, but only at the stations where
you buy gas.
Hey, Delbert! You forgot the one about Madelyn Murray O'Hair
getting the FCC to remove Touched By An Angel from TV!