A Skier's Dictionary

 From Dennis Fahringer

Alp: One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted 
request for assistance made by a European skier on a U.S.
mountain. An appropriate reply: "What Zermatter?"
Avalanche: One of the few actual perils skiers face that
needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport. See
also: Blizzard, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse.
Bones: There are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay,
however: TWO bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a
skiing accident.
Exercises: A few simple warm-ups to make sure you're prepared for
the slopes:
Prejump: Maneuver in which an expert skier makes a controlled
jump just ahead of a bump. Beginners can execute a controlled
prefall just before losing their balance and, if they wish, can
precede it with a prescream and a few pregroans.
Shin: The bruised area on the front of the leg that runs from the
point where the ache from the wrenched knee ends to where the
soreness from the strained ankle begins.
Ski! : A shout to alert people ahead that a loose ski is coming
down the hill. Another warning skiers should be familiar with is
"Avalanche!" which tells everyone that a hill is coming down the hill.
Skier: One who pays an arm and a leg for the opportunity to break them.
Stance: Your knees should be flexed, but shaking slightly; your
arms straight and covered with a good layer of goose flesh; your
hands forward, palms clammy, knuckles white and fingers icy, your
eyes a little crossed and darting in all directions. Your lips
should be quivering, and you should be mumbling, "Why?"
Thor: The Scandinavian god of acheth and painth.
Traverse: To ski across a slope at an angle; one of two quick and
simple methods of reducing speed.
Tree: The other method.

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