Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I commented,
"I don't think that is going to help."

"Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

A man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm.
"Do you serve tax collectors?", he asks the barman.

"Of course," says the barman.

"Well," replies the man, "I'll have a beer, and my alligator will have a
tax collector.

A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't
serve poultry."

The chicken replies, "That's ok, I only want a drink."

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the maitre 'd
that there will be at least a twenty minute wait and would he like to
wait in the bar. He goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll
it be?"

The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."

The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and says,
"Once upon time was four little pig."