Why did the chiken cross the road?

Fox Mulder:  It was a government conspiracy.

Timothy Leary:  Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Freud:  The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlyhing sexual insecurity.

Darwin:  Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads.

Pat Buchanan:  To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Machiavelli:  The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?  The end  of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Oliver Stone:  The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"  but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Bill Clinton:  I want to make this quite clear: the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Nixon:  ... I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Jerry Seinfeld:  Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,  "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.:  I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.