quotes - Jan 98

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal
skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall
people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
--Rita Rudner
"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go! You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off! I've got the
toe clippers right here!' "
--Jerry Seinfeld
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my 
fishburger and I realize, Oh my gosh...could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to
accept God's final word on where your lips end."
--Jerry Seinfeld
Submitted by: Dennis Fahringer - photo@uofn.edu


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