quotes - Jan 98

 

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal

skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."

--Conan O'Brien

 

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a

single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall

people burn slower?"

--Warren Hutcherson

 

"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."

--Rita Rudner

 

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go! You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off! I've got the

toe clippers right here!' "

--Jerry Seinfeld

 

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my 

fishburger and I realize, Oh my gosh...could be eating a slow learner."

--Lynda Montgomery

 

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

--Paul Rodriguez

 

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to

accept God's final word on where your lips end."

--Jerry Seinfeld

 

Submitted by: Dennis Fahringer - photo@uofn.edu

 

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