On our 25th anniversary, my husband took me out to dinner. Our teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for us when we returned. After we got home, we saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"

"I suppose," my husband responded, "we could vacuum."

*****

The Banker

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."

The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."

****

The Sermon

Our old friend Gladys attended church services one particular Sunday.  The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.  After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, in an attempt to revive him from his stupor, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."

To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!"

*****

Economics

This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
The friend replies "How so?"

"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"

****

EasterEggs

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank.  He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one.

A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock.