On our 25th anniversary, my husband took me out to dinner. Our teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for us when we returned. After we got home, we saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"
"I suppose," my husband responded, "we could vacuum."
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
Our old friend Gladys attended church
one particular Sunday. The
sermon seemed to go on forever, and
many in the congregation fell asleep.
After the service, to be social, she
up to a very sleepy looking gentleman,
in an attempt to revive him
his stupor, extended her hand in
greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys
To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!"
This guy is walking with his friend.
to this friend, "I'm a walking
The friend replies "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one.
A few minutes later the rooster
saw all the colored eggs, then
stormed outside and killed the
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