TO THE INTERNET
WHEN:
1. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no phone line or electricity.
2. Your web bookmark list takes fifteen minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
3. You wonder how your service provider can call 200 hours. per month "unlimited".
4. Your phone bill comes in a box.
5. You move into a new house and Netscape before you landscape.
6. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
7. You start tilting your head sideways to smile: :-)
8. You don't know the gender of your closest friends because they all have neutral nicknames.
9. You turn off your modem and get an empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
10. You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading".
11. You step out of your room and realise that your parents have moved.
12. You'll only date someone with a home page.
13. You automatically give your email address when someone asks for your address.
14. You feel more at home in your home page than with your family.
15. You wake at 3am, go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
16. You check your e-mail. It says "no new messages", so you try again.
17. Your dreams are in HTML.
18. Your tattoo says: "body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher".
