Across Pacific Magazine
Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives if they carefully review the "C" answers.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.
You decide to:
A. Present it to the
President
of the United States.
B. Present it to the
Secretary
General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to
display
simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social
conventions.
B. When he is the
Pope.
(Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your
brother
and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like
way
to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
A. That you
sincerely believe
the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you
also
have strong feelings for her, you can not honestly say that
you'll
be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you
don't
want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot
believe
the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a
nice
restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a
walk
on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you,
with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes,
you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "Do they need to
eat
or anything?"
B. "They're in school
already?"
C. "There are three of
them?"
8. Never mind.
9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being
tested.
B. He wanted them to
really
appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask
for
directions.
10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
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