Across Pacific & Asia

* You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

* You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

* You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.

* Someone compliments you on your layered look...and you're wearing a bikini.

* You keep repeating yourself.

* Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

* When you do the "Hokey Pokey," you put your left hip out...and it stays out.

* You keep repeating yourself.

* It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

* You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag," and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.

* You keep repeating yourself.

* You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

* The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say, "pureed."

* You keep repeating yourself.

* You find this list tasteless and insensitive

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