Parenthood...  If it was going to be easy,
    it never would have started with something called labour!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your
car - and you get about the same results.

To be in your children's memories tomorrow,
        - you have to be in their lives today.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere.
        -  And to let the air out of the tires.

The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts,
        - not by hot heads.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters
        - and too young to borrow the family car.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string...handy to have around
        - and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

God gave you two ears and one mouth...
        - so you could listen twice as much as you talk.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like
        - trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small
        - and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable disease
        - and his mother's age.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions
        - because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small
children.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in
prison?

Kids really brighten a household;
        - they never turn off any lights.