Why The Chicken Crossed the Road
    Part Deux


Dave Gustaveson sends: Why The Chicken Crossed the Road, Part Deux:

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with Crossing-the-Road Syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken did cross the road reveals your underlying insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2005, which will not only cross roads but will also lay eggs and file your important documents as well as balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken and will not be sold separately (except maybe in Europe).

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?


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