1. There was a church that had problems with
outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR
MEMBERS ONLY
Trespassers will be baptized!
2. "No God - No
Peace. Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to
heaven Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays.
They are better than Baskin Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new
look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church has
a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten
Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads,
"For
fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next
to a Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open
Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message:
"We are open on Sundays,
too."
8. "People are like tea
bags --
you have to put them in hot
water
before you know how strong they
are."
9. "Fight truth decay --
study the Bible daily."
10. "How will you spend
eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?"
11. "A Dusty Bibles lead to
Dirty Lives"
12. "Come
work for the Lord.
The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low.
But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
13. "It is unlikely
there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do not wait for the
hearse to take you to church."
15. "If you're headed in
the wrong direction,
God allows
U-turns."
16. "Looking at the way
some people live,
they ought to obtain eternal fire
insurance soon."
17. "This is a ch_ _
ch. What is missing?" (U R)
18. "In the dark?
Follow the Son"
19. "Running low on
faith? Step in for a fill-up."
20. "If you can't sleep,
don't count sheep.
Talk to the
Shepherd."
